Bereavement Counselling In London
Bereavement is often a time when different emotions surface, some of them we may not have experienced before. It is therefore the time when many people turn to bereavement & grief counselling for emotional support.
My personal experience of bereavement, as well as working with clients who are bereaved, is that of being on a journey through layers of emotions. I picture bereavement, or handling grief, as the layers of an onion like this:
- the first layer as disbelief and numbness
- the second layer as confusion, bewilderment and inability to concentrate
- the third as experiencing pain, anguish and grief often at all levels, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual
- the fourth can be replaying the lead up to death and the death itself; this the time that we might start saying “if only” which can give rise to anger and/or depression
- the fifth is believing that we see or hear the person who has died, which is very common
- finally comes the expectation of others that we should be “over it by now”. The only time to be “over it” is if and when you are ready. Sometimes there is a lot of pressure to “move on”. If the loss has been very great, or particularly disturbing, such as a suicide or the loss of a child it seems, in my opinion, to be unwise to expect that of someone. But instead, with sensitive emotional support, find ways to accommodate the feelings whilst being in the world without that person.
When I lost my father, I learned how rare it is for people to want to talk about death and dying. It seemed to tap into peoples’ fear of their own mortality. As a bereavement & grief counsellor, I feel passionately that talking about these deeply emotional issues is very important for the healing process back from grief.
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